Don't Let Me Drown
by StarlitDreamer
Summary: Ella was separated from Finn by the waves of a spectacular storm over an ocean that hadn't been there a second before. Rescued, she is forced to face an impossible new reality without Finn beside her. Yet despite never feeling more alone, she slowly discovers new reasons to live. (Note: Based on 'All for You' by tweedledee123)
1. It Can't Be Real

Author's Note: Welcome to a story which I have absolutely loved writing. This story is fanfiction for the story _All for You_ by tweedledee123 (written with the author's blessing). If you haven't read it, it's listed under my favourite stories. Read it! First, because it's an amazing story which I love dearly. Second, because this story will make much more sense if you do. This is the story of Ella's life during the years that she was separated from Finn.

It's largely completed already, which is good news for anyone who might like it because that (hopefully) means that it will be updated often. I hope you enjoy it!

~Star

* * *

"Ella!"  
The terror in Finn's voice rose in my chest as another wave crashed into me. My mouth filled with water and I choked, going under the waves. When I managed to get back to the surface, I couldn't hear her anymore, couldn't see her anymore. I began to panic. Angry black clouds overhead poured down rain and wave after wave slammed into me; it took all of my energy to stay afloat.  
"Finn! Finn!"  
Frantically, I swam in the direction I desperately hoped was where I had last seen her, but it was no use; I could not see her at all. I began to cry, but soon my sobs and the water that I was choking on forced me to stop screaming. I knew that there was no one to hear me anyway. Attempting to quell the panic rising in my stomach, I concentrated on breathing each time my head broke the waves. There was nothing to distinguish the passing of time: the clouds covered the stars and the sun wasn't up yet. Although this wouldn't matter as I had no idea what time it was when we had arrived here. The only thing giving any light were the lightning bolts raging overhead. Before long, I was shivering and barely conscious. The roar of the waves deafened me. I couldn't even think. I suppose it was a miracle that I didn't sink.  
But perhaps that wouldn't be so bad. Just give up and slip away. Yeah, not so bad. Finn's gone anyway.  
But by then, my body was so used to the motions that it had been going through for hours that I couldn't stop. I tried, I really did. Finally, I began to sob, although I don't know whether or not tears actually came from my eyes.  
Please, please Lord, Just let something happen. If I can't sink, please save me.  
It was almost comical how quickly something hit my arm and I groggily looked over to see a larger piece of driftwood. My numb fingers refused to bend, but I somehow managed to pull myself up, hooking my armpits over it. Finally, my limbs stopped twitching and I laid still, staring straight up. Despite my discomfort and distress, I was able to appreciate the fantastic light show. To this day, I have never seen anything more spectacular. However, I must have been swimming for hours and gradually my limbs stopped moving and I let myself go limp.

* * *

I think I was floating for one full day. I know that the sun rose somewhere behind the clouds, but the storm continued and the sky didn't get all that much lighter. I was colder than I had ever been in my life, but soon I became completely numb. Then it became dark again, and I just closed my eyes. Soon all there was were the flashes of lightning through my eyelids.

* * *

It could have been days, it could even have been years. My eyes were closed for a long time. Then, for some reason, they opened, almost on their own accord. Still there were only darkness and waves, lit by the flashes of lightning. Suddenly, someone appeared in front of me. If I had still been capable of it, I would have screamed. As it was, I started wildly, apparently still capable of movement, which sent me under, thrashing. Then I felt strong arms around my waist and I struggled harder, inhaling water until my dysfunctional brain registered that this person was, in fact, trying to save me. Then I began fighting toward the surface as well. We broke through the waves and I started again as I saw a ship not 100 yards from me, looming far above my head. I had failed to see it and, presuming that people had been yelling to me from the deck, I had also failed to hear anything. I clung as best I could, to the young sailor who was now pulling us toward the ship by the rope around his waist. I began pulling as well although I knew I wasn't helping much, and soon our effort brought us to the ship's side. Another rope was lowered over the side, which the sailor tied around my waist, and we climbed the rungs in the ship's side. It was a long process, as weak as I was and with my fingers unable to grip anything, even with the sailor doing what he could to help me. By the time we finally reached the deck, I was shaking even harder and unable to pull myself over the railing. Several strong pairs of hands reached out, pulling me aboard. Quickly, I was wrapped in a blanket, the rope was cut from my waist, and there were people all around me. Their mouths moved noiselessly and everyone was moving so fast that my eyes couldn't register them. I closed my eyes and buried my face in the blanket, shutting everything out.  
This isn't real. It can't be real. I'll wake up soon. I'll be at home and Finn will be alright… I'll see her at school tomorrow this will just be a fantastic story to tell her.  
Someone shaking my arm forced me to open my eyes. An older man knelt in front of me, and my heart dropped through my toes to see him. He was holding a cup which he handed to me.  
"Drink this."  
I took it without thinking and drank. It was water, fresh and not too cold, but unsalted like the water that I had been consuming for hours now. My stomach revolted then, and I barely made it to the railing before I threw up. After at least five minutes of this, my stomach had gotten rid of all the offensive material and I hung limply over the railing, shaking violently. I felt comforting hands on my back and I attempted to straighten, but collapsed coughing over the railing again. The hands moved to my waist, supporting me as I shook uncontrollably. This lasted several minutes more, after which I finally managed to stand and turn. The strong arms belonged to the young sailor who had saved me. Wrapped in a blanket as well, he continued to hold onto me as I clung to him for support. I glanced up.  
"Thank you."  
My voice was still barely audible, and I was completely miserable, not even able to smile. He smiled however, encouragement and understanding in his eyes, and released me, although I could tell that he was waiting to catch me if I fell. The older man handed me the cup again and I took another tentative drink. This time it stayed down, but tasted dreadful: bile, salt water, and the coppery taste of blood. I wiped my mouth on my sleeve and indeed, it came away bloody. But I put my arm down quickly so no one saw this. I turned again, clutching the railing, staring out over the sea. I was completely numb, but the night air was warm compared to the water. I didn't expect to see her, so I wasn't surprised when I didn't. Tears filled my eyes, making my vision swim. I felt the young man's hand on my arm, but didn't turn again.  
"Miss? You should get some rest."  
"My friend… she. Can't I stay here? Please?"  
I turned back and his eyes saw the tears in mine, but I was so upset that I didn't even care. He seemed like he was going to object, but after a moment, he merely nodded.  
"You had better come and change first though, miss. It's going to get cold and you need dry things."  
Even in the state I was in, I had to admit that this was smart, so I followed him below and changed into the sailors' clothes he gave me, which took a very long time as they did not offer to help me and I did not want them to. Then I returned to the deck and sat watching the waves… all I could do was watch, pray, and hope.


	2. Impossible

Author's note: I have attempted to keep my story accurate both in regard to history and to the films and story that it is based on. That being said, I haven't been exhaustive and there are certain things I haven't bothered to research at all. One of these points is whether a Royal Navy ship from the Colonies would actually be in England. I needed it to be and I assume that once in a while a voyage of this kind would be made, so I'll just say that it's returning from London. Finn was rescued off the shore of Selsey, England. Obviously, they didn't find one another, so I have decided that they landed somewhere between there and Plymouth and floated in opposite directions.

Also, in case anyone is interested, here is how I came up with the date:  
-Elizabeth Swann is born in the 1720s, according to the _Pirates of the Caribbean Wiki_ (I chose 1726).-At the age of twenty, Elizabeth is abducted by Barbossa and the crew of the _Black Pearl_, and subsequently rescued by William Turner.  
-One year later, the couple is arrested, which eventually leads to the convention of the Brethren Court, and Will becoming the captain of the _Flying Dutchman_.  
-Several months later in _All For You_, Finn arrives to live with Elizabeth Turner. It has then been four years since her separation from Ella.

If you spot discrepancies, you're encouraged to point them out and I'll do my best fix them. Even if I don't, I like to learn. Enjoy!

~Star

* * *

I woke in complete agony, my muscles burning like they never had before. It took me several moments to get past this and take in where I was. I was no longer on the deck; someone must have moved me after I fell asleep. Instead, I was lying on a bed in what - from my limited knowledge of ships - I guessed to be the Captain's cabin. I stayed still, thinking about the completely impossible circumstances I found myself in. The door cracked open and I recognized the young sailor who had rescued me. He smiled when he saw me awake, opening the door a little wider and entering.  
"Good morning, miss. Are you sore?"  
"No."  
I responded before even thinking about my answer, just denying it by habit. But my movements were stiff and he reached out, a strong hand on my back to help me sit up. The pain was so great that I almost cried out, but I bit my tongue. I glanced up at him.  
"Thank you. And last night, thank you for saving me. It was very brave."  
"You are welcome. But I was tied to the ship, so my heroics aren't as great as that."  
"A rope wouldn't have stopped you being swept away in the storm. And I am a stranger, one I imagine you thought was dead."  
He nodded in acceptance of this fact. "I am Richard."  
"Pleased to meet you, Richard. My name is Ella."  
I liked his smile. "I am pleased to meet you, Ella. The captain sent me to check on you. If you are feeling fit, he would like to hear your story."  
I shrugged, "He won't believe me, but alright."  
Richard nodded, "I will be back soon."  
I didn't want to move. In fact, I wasn't all that sure that I could. So I merely stayed as still as possible and waited, looking around the cabin to distract myself from the thoughts threatening to crush me. It was plain and sturdy: no gilding or fancy decoration, just the unfinished wood. Besides the bed, the only other things in the room were a sturdy chair and a table near the window littered with parchment and tools. My curiosity overcame my pain and I very slowly made my way to the table and studied the sheets of parchment. They were maps and they looked new, but the details were all wrong and they were hand-drawn. The tools were wrought-iron, like those used for navigation many years ago and surely not modern. Suddenly, my brain registered the clothing, the ship, the lack of technology. I looked back at the map. _1743_ was printed in the corner. My head swam and one hand gripped the table so tightly my fingers cracked. The door must have opened, but I didn't realize that I was no longer alone until I felt a firm hand on my shoulder.  
"What year is it?"  
My eyes fought to focus on the face of the old man who had given me water the night before. He looked slightly taken aback.  
"1743, miss."  
I flinched away from him and my back hit the wall, still gripping the map and staring at him in shock.  
"No. No that can't be. It's impossible."  
He looked even more confused and led me to the bed, kneeling in front of me to pry the parchment out of my grip.  
"Of course it's possible, missy. Why would it not be possible? What is your name?"  
I looked at him and saw concern in his eyes.  
"Ella Bronte. I'm from the year 2009."  
Shock turned to scepticism and disbelief quickly. He thought I was mad. I couldn't blame him. I retrieved my phone from my bag, roughly hit it against the edge of the bed until I could pull off the casing to expose the wires, and wordlessly handed it to him. It was completely useless anyway, not only because it had been soaked in sea water, but because there were absolutely no cell phone towers in 1743. Both men looked at it warily for a long moment until the captain finally poked at the wires.  
"What is it?"  
"A telephone. You use it to… talk to people who aren't with you."  
I really hoped that they wouldn't ask how and they didn't, instead handing it back rather gingerly and regarding me with new expressions. The captain placed the chair facing me and sat, clearing his throat.  
"Very well. Supposing that I believed you - I am not saying I do and I am not saying I do not- but supposing that I did, how did you get here?"  
I braced my hands on my knees and studied him, calculating, knowing that this explanation wouldn't help my cause in the least.  
"My friend and I got chased by some men and an amulet that she has started to glow. The next thing I knew, we were in the ocean and we were separated."  
There were no more tears. It didn't feel real even as I was saying it; more like the dream, or the dream of a dream. They looked at me and I nodded.  
"Look, I know that you don't believe me. I probably wouldn't believe me either were I in your place. But I have no idea how to get back, so what are you going to do with me?"  
The young man met my eyes. I didn't see pity there, and somehow that was comforting. Then he looked at the captain for a long moment. When the latter seemed to be at a loss for ideas, the young man cleared his throat.  
"Sir, supposing that while we are in Plymouth, I assist Ms. Bronte in a search for her friend. Surely if she has been found, she would have been taken there. Afterward," He paused to glance at me before carrying on. "we are bound for my hometown. I am sure that my parents would be willing to take them in."  
The captain nodded, looking slightly relieved. "Yes, a good plan."  
He paused a moment, then turned to me. "Is that an acceptable arrangement, Miss Bronte?"  
I nodded. It wasn't, but I didn't really have another choice. I knew nothing about where I was or how to handle it, let alone get back home. He nodded once in satisfaction. "Yes, very good. Now, Miss Bronte, we must put together an acceptable story. The two us believe you - given the circumstances it makes a remarkable amount of sense. But you would be hard-pressed to convince many others. In fact, if you did try you would most likely be labelled either as mad or as a witch."  
I swallowed, neither option appealing. "I'll just say that I lost my memory"  
He nodded again, "Very well."  
Looking first at Richard, then at me, he became very serious.  
"We shall present that as the official report as well. The Royal Navy will have more important matters to attend to than the memory of a lost girl. The true facts will never leave this circle of three, excepting, naturally, Ensign Tremaine's parents. Are we in accord?"  
"Yes, Sir."  
There was a knock on the door. "Captain, you're needed on deck."  
He rose. "Ms. Bronte, I leave you in the care of Ensign Tremaine. He shall see to your needs. We shall be in Plymouth by the end of the day."  
"Thank you, Captain."  
When the door shut, I turned to Richard and he smiled. "I owe a lot to you. Thank you for offering to help me look for Finn and let me stay with your family. I… you didn't have to do that."  
"I know, but they will be pleased."  
I nodded, but still; it wasn't as if I actually belonged here.  
He seemed to read my mind, "Don't worry, I shall help you learn everything you need to know."  
I couldn't return his friendly smile, didn't even want to, so I looked away. "Thank you."

* * *

I didn't allow myself to even consider that we wouldn't find Finn. If I'd done that, I never would have made it out of bed. By the time we docked in Plymouth, I had made myself presentable. Dressed in the clothes of a cabin boy with my hair tucked into a cap, I gripped the railing as the port came into view, the anchor was dropped, and the small boat made ready for our trip to shore. Richard helped me to descend the ladder as I was still stiff and weak. When we reached land, we began at one end of the docks and worked our way to the other, asking crew members if any ship had found a girl in the nearby waters. The answer was always no and my spirits sank with each. Before we could get through, it was dark, but Richard didn't mention stopping and so we pressed on. Finally, however, the nightwatchmen on the last ship yelled that they "hadn't seen no wench in months now" and I felt all of the black sorrow that had been building up wash over me. Richard put an arm around me and I heard him yell something sharp to the men that we were looking for my sister before he pulled me away toward our ship. The boat was waiting and we climbed in, Richard taking the oars as I collapsed in the bow.  
"Take heart, Ella. It may be that she was found, just her ship has not reached here yet. We shall look again tomorrow before setting out again."  
I could only nod.

* * *

Morning brought the same answers as before, and on our return to the ship, the Captain attempted to console me, suggesting that perhaps we could delay our departure. But by now the sorrow had left me. Instead I felt hollowed out, barely able to remember what emotion felt like.  
"She's dead, Captain. It would be foolish to stay here."  
Turning, I made my way to the cabin, knowing that there was pity in his eyes, but ignoring it and keeping my shoulders straight until I shut the door behind me.


	3. Existing in Fragments

Now that there was no hope of finding Finn to push me past my physical pain, several days passed before I again made it any distance out of bed. I stumbled around the cabin a bit and to relieve myself but as the days went, I spent more of my time sleeping, wanting less and less to be awake, sinking deeper into depression. Both the Captain and Richard tried to make me eat, but the food tasted awful and I began pretending to be asleep when they checked in, even on the rare occasions that I wasn't. Finally, four days in, Richard shook me until I couldn't pretend not to notice.  
"Ella, come, you haven't eaten in days. I know you aren't asleep. Please, get up."  
Slowly, I rolled over, opening my eyes to meet his. He gave sad smile and held his hand out.  
"Come on, get up."  
I just stared at him for a moment and again, I saw no pity. Instead, I saw a hint that maybe he knew what I was going through. Well, if he really did and he'd made it, I supposed I could try.

* * *

"It's a two or three month trip to the Americas, another month to reach Savannah."  
I stared at the waves. Four months aboard a ship. I'd always wanted to go to sea.  
"Careful what you wish for."  
I didn't know whether or not he caught my mutter, but if he did, he didn't respond. We stood silently staring over the railing until Richard's hand on my arm made me look up. Gesturing to a ladder belowdecks, he smiled again. "Come, if we go now, the cook will give us food before everyone is served."  
I followed without comment to the galley where a gruff man handed us bowls of something indistinguishable and a piece of hard bread each. At first he looked at me with something approaching distaste, but when I met his eyes, I saw something soften. Perhaps I looked as dead as I felt. Turning, I followed Richard to sit on coils of rope at the rear of the ship. I didn't look at anyone else the rest of the night and as soon as I was finished, I bid Richard goodbye and escaped to my cabin.

* * *

The next morning, I got up of my own accord, but only because I spent the morning leaning over the railing. In addition to tasting horrific, the food turned out to make me sick and I was again in bed for a few days - not necessarily because I wanted to be this time - incredibly dehydrated and weak, unable to keep anything at all down. By the time I could push myself to my feet, I had lost so much weight that my mother would have been worried. But my mother wasn't there, and I didn't care at all. If I'd been capable of any emotion, it would have been dark pleasure that I was wasting away. Again, I remained mostly confined to my cabin, which was sparse as the Captain's gear had been cleared out for my stay. I still slept often, but now spent hours sitting in front of the window as well. Richard came often to see me and would sit quietly or speak of the ship's history or what their voyages were usually like, seeming to require no response from me or even my full attention. The Captain visited once or twice, but conversations with him were stiff and civil, requiring more participation from me. Mostly though, my company consisted of my own thoughts and the books and movies that I played from memory in an effort to not think of darker things. I barely thought about the life I was headed to, although somewhere in the midst of all of my dark thoughts the fact surfaced that 1743 was the year that Thomas Jefferson was born, a remnant of my U.S. History class. I was older than Thomas Jefferson. With the most emotion I'd felt in days, I felt a dark urge to travel to Virginia in a few years to find young Thomas and tell him his entire future. Time travel paradox be damned.

* * *

About one week from Plymouth, I woke rigid as a board and drenched in sweat, gasping for breath as if I'd run for miles. I had struggled with nightmares for years as a child but they were never so bad. Although these were from more than strange noises at night. Hopefully I hadn't screamed. Feeling completely disinclined to try sleeping again, I pushed myself to my feet and pulled on my clothes before making my way to the deck. It was dark, the only people awake being the sailor manning the ship's wheel and the one in the Crow's nest. Avoiding the sightline of the former, I made my way to the rigging and began to climb. I had always preferred being as high up as I could; it relaxed me to be able to see everything. When I was a kid, I spent most of my free time in trees. Dropping onto a crossail, I gazed at the stars, awe and wonder piercing my recent apathy. I had always loved the stars, but in a world of electric lights never had I seen so many. For a while, I lost myself in watching them over my head, refusing to let any other thoughts into my head. If I did, I knew it would be thoughts of my mother, who had been the one who taught me to love the stars, and of Finn, with whom I'd lain in the grass many times staring at the night sky as we talked.

* * *

Author's Note: It's been far too long since an update and for that I'm very sorry. I know this is short, but I am working on this story. If you're interested in reading more, please say so. If I'm writing only for myself then there's no point in posting these stories!

~Star


End file.
